theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize