You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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