Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
