I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
