mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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