he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
be right there i have to get my cape
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
