Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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