Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
