your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
