we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
