he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
