At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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