the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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