You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
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I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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