Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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