NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
