Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
