i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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