We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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