How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
