Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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