the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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