he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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