U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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