is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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