what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
