Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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