I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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