we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
