Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
