Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
