you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
