i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
