Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
