to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
