my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
