i think i have two assholes
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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