Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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