Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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