You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
