We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
