Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize