I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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