4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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