found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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