I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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