ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
