Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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