Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
