you would pick up someone in the library
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize