Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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