So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
