i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You've changed since you got that strap on
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
