i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I want her autograph on my taint
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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