she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
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They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
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I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.