It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.