Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize