Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
