and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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