she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
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I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
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cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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