were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
