Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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